Sometimes you go through a rough patch in life, suddenly every little thing you put to the back of your brain comes to the forefront. Suddenly you are completely overwhelmed and day after day a new problem emerges. Work feels pressurized, the demands of everyday life begin taking their toll and before you know it you are crumbling.
Crumbling so much to the point your brain just clicks and that switch goes too off. Life suddenly becomes easier for a short time. You don’t feel the emotions of stresses of everyday life for perhaps a week or so. You think you’re acting perfectly normal, but people begin to see the change in you. Flaws become more prominent, people begin to look at you differently and that’s when it all goes downhill.
You wake up one morning and every emotion comes flooding back into your mind. You try and decipher it all but it’s jumbled and a mess. You shrug it off and get ready for work regardless. You put on the fake happy face to get through the day, explaining to those around you that you’re just tired. However your sleep patterns become worse as each day goes by, you begin to lose your appetite to the point one meal is enough and things just get worse from there. All you want to do is to be alone but it is not the luxury you have until you’re laying in bed pleading your mind to let you sleep. You become less sociable and less inclined to do things with friends and family, completely afraid of being judged for what’s happening inside your now fragmented mind.
Each day brings something worse, a new problem or issue constantly building up. Day’s off are spent attempting to make sense of everything. You try and map it all out to understand what’s happened but the pieces don’t fit like they should. You then begin to feel hopeless and you lose yourself to the controlling voice in your head. Then one day, you feel fine, almost on top of the world. The problems of the past few weeks feel like nothing more than a single grain of sand, and that’s when you crack. The tears start streaming down your face, and that is when you truly know how bad it is. The tears don’t stop, they keep coming. Everything is numb, every emotion is in overdrive and you cannot make out what is true or false anymore. Is it the voice in your mind whispering or is it the truth of your very eyes that have gotten you to this point?
You try to talk to someone, but the words don’t come. You feel like you’re sinking and slowly drowning in quicksand, suddenly everything is pointless and you are just existing to exist. Lost without purpose, or any way out.
Yet there’s a twinkle of light as you are about to take that final plunge into the darkness of the sand sea attempting to engulf you. There is hope. Hope that you can get out of this mess your mind has caused you. Hope you will find the help and support you need. Hope it will get better with time.
Depression can affect everyone in different ways, I wish people would simply think instead of assuming the worst in somebody. It doesn’t take much, simply caring and being kind is often all the support anybody needs to make that start to change. The change that can often turn someone’s life around in a positive manner that they cannot see themselves.
Kindness costs nothing, so be kind always. Everyone is going through their own battles and it is not your place to cast judgment and make things worse.
Until next time dreamers,