So as we all know today is World Mental Health Day! Believe it or not I did not actually know today existed so today’s post will be quite personal too me.
So sometimes when things are going great I suddenly get really down, it literally curve balls me out of my happy bubble and into my little depression bubble. That’s the thing with depression it can hit you at anytime of the day regardless of who you’re with or what you’re doing. It’s a pain in the arse.
However when I’m in this little bubble, I forget about who I am, the trials and tribulations I’ve already overcome. I shut people out, I make excuses not to do things and you know what? I literally should slap myself for it. I should know by now that I am so much more than what I have become when I’m in that state of mind. I know getting out there and seeing someone helps massively yet I stubbornly continue with my self wallowing.
You know what I really need though? For someone to come and see me. Unexpectedly just showing up at my door and just showing that they care. It can be for ten minutes and I’d still appreciate it, more than anything when I’m in this bubble. Should I ask people to do that? Possibly, but truth of the matter I like to think people know me well enough to know what I need.
But that leads into the next point, because of my mental health I do hold back slightly with everyone in my life. I don’t always speak my mind, I don’t often voice my exact feelings about certain things or situations. I don’t explain how hurt I am from the smallest comments, but words can often cut deeper than a knife and people should know that. It’s fact. Words stay forever embedded in your memory. You will always remember certain things and when you’re in your bubble those conversations and comments run around inside your head and torment you further.
So yes depression can sometimes hinder my relationships with others, no it’s not personal and yes it is hard.
Sometimes the bubble stays for around 24 hours, sometimes as long as a week.
All we really need is the right support network, and I absolutely adore the people I have in my life. I may not always tell you guys everything but know that I love you immensely and I will open up more as soon as I’m ready. I will be ready, probably not today but definitely someday.
If you know anyone who suffers from mental health issues please, be kind and be patient with them. They aren’t trying to hurt you, they aren’t trying to push you away. They like me are just too stubborn to admit they need some support and help every now and then. That’s all it is.
Be stubborn back, make it known you are not going anywhere and you will be there for them. Every little helps, it always will. So don’t give up on them. Put yourself in their shoes and then think how you’d feel.
Until next time,