So something I’ve realised the past few weeks is how much depression can affect not only you but those closest to you. It hurts them to see you hurting but the negative energy that is being produced also makes a huge impact on their lives and state of minds. It isn’t fair on either of you as sometimes you can’t help when you’re having a bad day of it, but then is it right to be around your loved ones and pass on those emotions without even realising it ?
Now the people closest to me know that when I’m having a bad day I am an absolute nightmare to handle, I don’t like to admit it but it’s true, I am a pain in the ass! However I have learnt this week how to get myself into a positive frame of mind before I see the people I care for, it may be relevant to some readers and not so relevant to others but this is how I personally do it, it is my journey after all.
If I wake up feeling low, the first thing I will instantly do is get on YouTube and play some of my favourite songs. I admit I am a huge romantic and day dreamer so I am straight on the happy love songs, something I can dance and sing along too. That can lift my mood straight away because the music reminds me of who I am, and that depression doesn’t define me.
IF for any reason that fails my second option is that I will sit down, calm myself through slow breathing and write in my journal all the positive things in my life, remind myself I am not alone and I am surrounded by loved ones all the time! Let me tell you something important about your loved ones. They will literally carry you and get you through anything sometimes at the expense of their own happiness. It is wonderful, but is that fair? I hate the very thought that someone I love compromises their own happiness so that I can feel better. You need to help yourself. You cannot rely on people day in day out to get you through every single second of the day.
It may mean spending time on your own somewhere, climbing a mountain, going for a long walk, even getting out of the city, but you need to realise your own depression will impact other people’s lives and you are the only person who can change that. You were not born to be depressed and live everyday like a zombie. You are a human being and you CAN control your emotions if you just believe you can. Have you heard the Disney quote “all you need is faith, trust and pixie dust”? Well if you have then you know exactly what I’m talking about, and if you don’t here’s what it means:
Have faith in yourself to change what needs to be changed,
Have trust in yourself to be able to make those changes,
As for pixie dust, that is you yourself, only when combined with faith and trust will you see a change.
After all is said and done, remember that your loved ones will always be there, but you do not get to bring them down when all they do it lift you up when times get hard. You can be your own hero, because one day you might not have another hero save the day other than yourself.
So be positive, be kind and have courage. You control your fate, no one else.