So it’s been a few days, I’ve been pretty busy trying to figure things out especially with my depression. I recently realised how much you can be judged for being like this, being a way that is not always within your control, by being trapped in your own mind and not being able to escape. People will not understand your battle, the endless corridor you run through trying so hard to reach that light at the end but all it does it get further and further away while walls close in and you’re trapped once again, consumed by the darkness, the fear and pain all at once.
The funny thing I’ve realised is we who suffer with depression and often anxiety, we don’t deserve to be judged, we deserve to be understood. Don’t get me wrong, it is our choice if we seek help to get through depression and who we open up to about how we’re feeling but let me tell you something, humanity is cruel and there won’t always be a silver lining every single day. However that said, the people who really matter in this world won’t judge you, they will understand. Those people often become the silver lining just through simple acts of kindness whether it’s friendship, family or something more. These people’s actions speak louder than words, for me when my best friend is just simply with me, no words have to be said but that kindness, that compassion of understanding that words don’t always help, that is my silver lining almost every day. He understands my battle more than anyone else and for that I know I’m not judged by him of all people. He helps me realise I don’t have to conform to society or lie about who I am or feel judged because of who I am, or at least what depression makes me feel the need to do.
The message I want to pass on more than anything is when you find someone whether it’s a friend or more, who wants to understand what’s going on without that judgemental look hiding behind their eyes, that is the person you should talk to about how you’re feeling. Never feel judged, you are stronger than that, and one person can make all the difference.
The people who make us feel something other than sadness are never the people we expect, so when you find them, cherish them … that’s when you have your silver lining.