So … it’s been an interesting few days guys, and it’s given me A LOT to think about it and inspire me into writing this post I suppose. So as you are all aware, I also suffer from depression and anxiety, the whole idea of this blog is to share experiences and what not. Yet the one thing I haven’t touched on yet is how to be in a new relationship, WELL technically any relationship when you suffer from depression and anxiety. Do you tell your partner from the off-set ? Or do you hide it and wait for a right time to tell them?
Honestly, I’ve met someone this week. Who has completely taken me by surprise, he’s a bit older (not that that bothers nor concerns me), but there is something about him that completely captivates me. Something about him is different from other men I’ve known in the past, something tells me I can trust him, so I did. I told him the second day in about my depression and anxiety and do you know what his reaction was? Honestly I was not expecting it, I’m normally used to people freaking out or making an excuse to leave etc, but he genuinely opened up about how he knew what it was like because he’d suffered from it in the past. That’s the best feeling, knowing someone not only understands but has been through it. Oh and of course he didn’t run away.
But what if he hadn’t suffered from it before? Would that change how he looked at me? I doubt it highly, and this is where this post is going. If someone who claims to care for you, defines you by your depression, looks at you and that is all they see. They are not the one for you love. To be with someone, truly, they should like and/or love you and be with you for all your sides, and yes that includes depression. It should god damn well include your depression because it is a part of you as long as you are fighting to defeat it, it should include your depression because they will see every side of you including your ups and downs. The ups will have nothing to do with depression, but sometimes the downs will, not always but sometimes. That person will have to see all of this, and they will know when it is depression and when it isn’t because they will know you well enough to know exactly what is going on.
There is one flaw with this however, depression can often lead you into only showing certain parts of yourself in little snippets, sort of like little jigsaw pieces slowly being pieced together until it comes together into a beautiful piece of art … BUT if you are honest very early on about what you are going through, the sooner you can slowly learn to trust that person. Without trust, then it won’t go very far or anywhere at all.
My advice is, just be honest, because if you aren’t then it could spell the end of something magical and loving before it even get’s off the runway. Everyone deserves happiness, and there is no reason we can’t have it just because of our mental health. It’s a long process, it’s a long journey, but that one person can make the whole difference to your world, but only if you let them.
One last thing, especially if you are a bit insecure about telling that special someone about what’s going on, just do one thing for me, don’t lie, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to please them whether they are you dream partner or not.
Be True To Who You Are & Love Will Find You.